Dirty Little Words

Oh I love my dirty little words.  I have nurtured, cared for and preserved them.  I have lovingly embraced them as commas, exclamation marks, periods, extended pauses and friends.  They are there when I am angry. They are there when I am hurt.  They are there when I want to flirt.
I did not mean to take them on at first.  It was dangerous to say one here and there.  They were always said under my rebellious breath amongst my closest of friends.  Lucky them.  As I grew older, they grew with me.  A symbol of the lost rebellion gone now from my spirit yet ever present, ever part of something in me.  I grew cautious never saying these words in public but at home watch out.  I relaxed my hold over my tongue and out they would fall like pebbles over a cliff.  My children heard a word or two.  Some took them as their own.  The roots, the seeds have been passed down.
Oh what I would do to remove these words, yet will I?  This is one thing I had no intention of passing on. 
In an effort to change I am taking offence to these words.  When my young people use these words they are punished and made to look up 50 words for each offence to replace those words.  Then they are to use them to bless those that caused the circumstance to use the words.  What about the punishment for me?  First it is punishment enough to hear my children say even one of thee words but, I must learn new words as well and add them to my heart to bless others instead of cursing them under my breath. It is difficult to bless those who have caused offence.  It is so easy to slip into anger and frustration and hate.  God asked something different from me.
 It is written (Luke:6:27-36) ",But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.  If someone strikes you on the cheek, turn to him the other also.  If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him  from taking your tunic.  Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.  Do to others as you would have them do to you.  If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?  Even 'sinners' love those who love them.  And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is it to you?  Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners' expecting to be repaid in full.  But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back.  Then your reward will be great, and you sons of the most high because He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.  Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful." 

 It steals my ability to be close to God when I return anger for anger and frustration for frustration even if it is only under my breath.  And I want to be close to God.  I want that for my children too.

 Even if I don't really mean it I need to learn not to say it.  It will be hard choosing to do the things Jesus asked of us in Luke 6:27-36  I must change.  I must change for my children  for I am their example.   But more importantly I must change in order to grow closer to God.  I'll let you know how it goes.